Mind your language, Sir

Hey! Hullo!
I often hear these words used by a very elder colleague of mine every time he wants to get somebody’s attention. He would prefer using a 'hello' to calling the person by name. We are all used to the customary “hello” that is used to greet someone, but my friend here likes to use it to convey a message like– “hello, I am speaking, so get your attention here.”

I have always found it derogatory and now I even have the parliament’s support. The latest edition of 'Unparliamentary Expressions', a 900-page book published by the Lok Sabha secretariat that governs speech in Parliament and state legislatures, lists words and phrases disallowed in the Indian Parliament and in various state assemblies.

The book mentions that the term “hello” to catch the attention of the chair or Speaker’s attention is unparliamentary.

So there you have it, my friend would’ve been asked to mind his language if he had used his favourite word repeatedly inside the parliament. Too bad his speech is not governed by such a book at work.

I wonder if there is a similar book of unparliamentary expressions for a workplace. If there was one, it would perhaps list out the following words and expressions (I used an online snap poll to get these from my friends):

“I want this ASAP” (as soon as possible)
“Look here!”
“Do you mind” (if spoken curtly)
“What are you doing?” (Usually a redundant query when it is obvious what you are doing)
"You are not following the process"
"You know the system right? This is how it works"
"Leave it to me"
"No"

Some other not-so-pleasant phrases which qualify as double point of reference, have found its way into work culture and news reports are:

‘going to bed with’ – to indicate an alliance
‘its sexed-up’ - refers to false reporting (ex: the Satyam fraud)

Did you know words such as ‘shy’, unfortunate’, ‘stern school master’, ‘I am ashamed’, and ‘for christ’s sake’ are also unacceptable in the parliament. Perhaps at work too, such words can be avoided.

But how often does one pay attention to how we speak at work? From talking loudly over the phone in an open office environment, to laughing or jeering at someone followed by hush-hush conversation; its all over the work place.

Good manners are hardly followed by all during conversations. For instance not wishing your peers a “Good Morning”; not returning a ‘thank you’ with a ‘you are welcome’ or ‘don’t mention it’ or something of that effect; not saying an instant ‘thank you’ for a job well done; these are some rudimentary no-no.

Would love to hear from you on what puts you off and what qualifies as unparliamentary expression at your work place. Do leave your comments below.

Rescue me from a BORING meeting, please!

A meeting note from the boss squeezes out different emotions from different types of people. Those with management responsibilities, accept the circular as a fate of destiny, as if they have no choice but to prepare for the meeting and hope to come out alive.

Then there are those who don’t have much to contribute to the meeting but eagerly wait for meetings to happen as they can ‘justify’ being absent from their desk for hours. Meet the third kind of people who come to a meeting just because it is part of their job function, and not because they want to make their voice heard.

Then there is the fourth kind of people – the eager beavers, like myself who are just a few months old in the company and greet the invite with a serious determination to take it (the meeting) as a learning board. They would be alert throughout the meeting and even make an effort to steer the meeting to a conclusion.

What makes the meetings a dreadful thing for some and interesting for others?
I’d like to think it is the personal mindset and participation of others in the meeting that shapes the meeting.

I’m not going to delve too much onto how to make a meeting productive, but from my personal experience two greatest flaws of any meeting are a weak chairperson (one who conducts the meeting) and slackness in recording objectives of the discussion.

Even though you may go in with a neatly typed agenda or prepared colourful presentations, a meeting is surely to fail if the points deliberated are not recorded properly.

Any meeting should be able to answer the necessary five questions – what is the issue, why is this is an issue, how to resolve it, who can resolve it and by when can it be resolved.

So, I would suggest the minutes of a meeting or MoM to be recorded under the following sub-heads.

1. Issue – this would be a pre-determined agenda point. It is better to split the issues as minutely as possible instead of combining more than one issue.
2. Points discussed – Under this, one should write a gist of the discussion mentioning the points and counter points raised by members.
3. Action plan – this clearly defines the steps that need to be taken to resolve the issue. This could be as detailed as possible.
4. By Who – each action plan needs to be assigned to someone. Mention the name of the individuals or dept or team who has to carry out the action plan.
5. By When – it is important to put a date by when the assigned task is completed or results are expected. It could also be a date of review in most cases.

Every meeting’s MoM could be effectively captured using this format. One could also mark delays to complete a task by recording the revised dates for a specific action plan, thereby giving a clear picture of how many times the task was delayed and by whom.

Finally, to truly have a successful meeting, follow up, follow up, follow up.

"OK, now that we all agree, lets go back to our desks and discuss why this won't work."

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“Because there are so many ill-conducted meetings, managers who conduct effective meetings are often appreciated and respected” - Marie G. McIntyre, author of 'Secrets to Winning at Office Politics'.
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