Mind your language, Sir

Hey! Hullo!
I often hear these words used by a very elder colleague of mine every time he wants to get somebody’s attention. He would prefer using a 'hello' to calling the person by name. We are all used to the customary “hello” that is used to greet someone, but my friend here likes to use it to convey a message like– “hello, I am speaking, so get your attention here.”

I have always found it derogatory and now I even have the parliament’s support. The latest edition of 'Unparliamentary Expressions', a 900-page book published by the Lok Sabha secretariat that governs speech in Parliament and state legislatures, lists words and phrases disallowed in the Indian Parliament and in various state assemblies.

The book mentions that the term “hello” to catch the attention of the chair or Speaker’s attention is unparliamentary.

So there you have it, my friend would’ve been asked to mind his language if he had used his favourite word repeatedly inside the parliament. Too bad his speech is not governed by such a book at work.

I wonder if there is a similar book of unparliamentary expressions for a workplace. If there was one, it would perhaps list out the following words and expressions (I used an online snap poll to get these from my friends):

“I want this ASAP” (as soon as possible)
“Look here!”
“Do you mind” (if spoken curtly)
“What are you doing?” (Usually a redundant query when it is obvious what you are doing)
"You are not following the process"
"You know the system right? This is how it works"
"Leave it to me"
"No"

Some other not-so-pleasant phrases which qualify as double point of reference, have found its way into work culture and news reports are:

‘going to bed with’ – to indicate an alliance
‘its sexed-up’ - refers to false reporting (ex: the Satyam fraud)

Did you know words such as ‘shy’, unfortunate’, ‘stern school master’, ‘I am ashamed’, and ‘for christ’s sake’ are also unacceptable in the parliament. Perhaps at work too, such words can be avoided.

But how often does one pay attention to how we speak at work? From talking loudly over the phone in an open office environment, to laughing or jeering at someone followed by hush-hush conversation; its all over the work place.

Good manners are hardly followed by all during conversations. For instance not wishing your peers a “Good Morning”; not returning a ‘thank you’ with a ‘you are welcome’ or ‘don’t mention it’ or something of that effect; not saying an instant ‘thank you’ for a job well done; these are some rudimentary no-no.

Would love to hear from you on what puts you off and what qualifies as unparliamentary expression at your work place. Do leave your comments below.